


Still

by Starofwinter



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 09:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15483204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: Maybe I've always been so afraidBaby it's too hard and too scarred for this to work againBut you know I still wake up with you every morning like we're still dead





	Still

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from [Still by Japanese House](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKiJE6-GbaY)
> 
> Sequel to [So Cold.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13339719)

Anomaly drags himself back to the apartment and washes off the blood and worse that soaks his skin and wishes he could clean his spirit and his mind so easily.  Everything is dark and quiet, and it soothes the edges off the blinding headache building behind his eyes. He rests his head against the cool tile until the nausea edges back down, just letting the water run over his bare skin.  He needs to face this, or else pack a bag and leave again, for good this time. 

This is his fault.  He can’t keep doing this to Killer, he can’t keep tearing them both apart.  All Killer wanted to do was help him, and he’d done what he does best - threw it back in his face, ripped into the soft, broken parts of him to find what would hurt most, and flung it at him like a knife.  Killer deserves better.

When the water runs cold for long enough that he’s shivering and numb, Anomaly drags himself out of the shower and dries himself off.  He looks at himself in the mirror just long enough to confirm the black eye and the split in his lip, his cheek swollen and darkening already.  He looks better than he feels - granted, that’s not a high bar at the moment. He flicks the lights in the ‘fresher off before he opens the door, and he hopes he hasn’t woken Killer up.  He can just… get his shit together and get out.

Killer is sitting up in bed when he walks out, the lights from outside outlining the slump of his shoulders and the way his knees are drawn up to his chest.  The color is leeched out of his skin and hair by the blue sheen, and he looks ethereal, delicate, heart-achingly fragile. “Come to bed, Anomaly,” he says, holding out a trembling hand, “Please?”

All Anomaly’s residual anger and fear and self-loathing is washed away by those simple words in Killer’s soft voice, the way he’s shaking, and he moves without conscious thought, collapsing into bed and curling around Killer.  “I’m sorry,” he whispers, forcing the words past the tears choking him, “Kil’ika, I’m so sorry.”

“I know.  I’m sorry too.”  Killer curls into him, pressing a kiss to his chest.  “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Anomaly shakes his head.  “You were right.” Killer clings tighter to him, and even with the chill of the cold shower on his skin, Anomaly can still feel how icy he is.  He pulls the blankets over both of them and closes his eyes, wrapping himself a little tighter around Killer. “I love you, Killer.”

“I love you too, Anomaly.  Nothing will ever change that, I promise.”

Neither of them really sleep, but they both stay curled up with each other until the morning light filters into the room, breathing each other in and holding on tight.  No matter what happens, they’re both willing to face it together, and that’s what matters.


End file.
